Category: Failure

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You’re Never too Young for Critical Thinking

Today my kids’ school held their annual kindergarten “Humpty-Dumpty Egg Drop”. Students were given homework to boil an egg, then create some sort of protective cradle for it. On the day of the egg drop, students bring their creation with them, ready to test out their engineering skills. The custodian takes all the creations with him to the school’s roof, then one by one, hurls them off the roof, where they then land on the blacktop. The kids all cheer and laugh as they watch as each other’s eggs are thrown off the roof. The goal is to have an unbroken egg by the end of the event. Some contraptions are wildly successful, while others are, well, not. Regardless of the outcome, they all have a great time.

One of my kids is in kindergarten this year, so I got the chance to go watch the egg drop today. Due to inclement weather, they moved it indoors, and the custodian dropped the eggs from the second level of the school down to the first— which offered the advantages of a softer landing spot as well as a shorter distance for the egg to fall. Even with these changes, the kids still cheered and laughed as they watched their eggs and their classmates’ eggs fall to the ground. After all the eggs had been dropped, the kids excitedly found theirs, and opened their creations to see whether or not their egg survived the fall. There were lots of squeals of excitement, mixed in with a handful of disappointed sighs.

While this seems like just a fun activity to do with kids, it goes beyond that. At the very least, it’s a great opportunity for students to cheer each other on and celebrate together. One of the biggest benefits of this assignment is the exposure to STEM related thinking. The students were asked to come up with their own ideas of how they wanted to protect their egg. I asked my son to think about how he wanted to do that, and gave him some time to consider some ideas. A while later, I asked if he had thought of anything. Immediately, he began to tell me his ideas, what supplies he would need, and how he wanted to execute his idea. 

It was a brilliant way to get him to figure out a solution to a problem. When it came time to build his egg cradle, he gathered supplies and asked for help gathering what he couldn’t find. We gently guided him along the way, and performed tasks that weren’t safe for a kindergartner  to do (like pushing holes through the plastic tub he wanted to use). As he worked, he made adjustments when he saw that something wasn’t going to work as well as he wanted it to. He was essentially testing out his plan and correcting mistakes as he worked. 

As a parent, I appreciated this activity for a few reasons. First, it gave my son a chance to get creative. He was able to come up with his own solution and create a model based on his ideas. Second, the ideas that he came up with were his own. Not mom and dad’s. Not his big brothers who had previously done this activity. They were his. He took great pride in his idea and worked hard to see it come to fruition. Third, he persevered as he worked. Not everything worked how he wanted it to, and he found he had to pivot along the way to make things work. Lastly, he was able to practice dealing with disappointment when he opened his egg container to find that it had not survived the fall and was cracked and smashed on one side of it. 

Any activity that gets kids to think critically is a-ok with me! I want my kids to be able to think through possible solutions and be able to be flexible when things don’t go how they want them to. I want them to be able to make adjustments to their solutions and plans as they go. These kinds of skills are not only useful in school, specifically in STEM related classes, but in life in general. 

So while the egg drop was a fun activity that got everyone involved, it was much, much more than that. Kudos to the teachers who facilitate such engaging, learning enriched activities!

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Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.