What to do When Your Kid Won’t go to School

I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry. 

Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan. 

Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!

Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start. 

So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!

  • First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
  • Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial. 
  • Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
    • Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
    • Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for. 
    • Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave. 
    • Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
    • If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them. 
  • Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
  • Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss. 

Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!

Access to Technology: A Benefit or a Detriment?

Technology is both a blessing and a curse in classroom settings. When used correctly, it can greatly enhance and enrich learning. When it becomes a distraction, however, it can become a detriment to learning. In the poll I conducted, 81% of teachers polled identified access to technology as a major problem they see among their students. 

We live in a world where technology is pretty much unavoidable. We rely on our devices for so many things, and I don’t see that going away any time soon, if ever. Many students have easy access to various technologies, and recent trends show that kids are becoming addicted to screens at young ages. This addiction to screens isn’t a problem that stays at home; it’s bleeding over into school. We’re seeing students who have a hard time staying focused for more than a few minutes at a time, are getting bored with traditional instructional methods that don’t involve technology, and who can’t think for themselves. For students who have and bring a phone to school, it becomes a temptation when it’s in their pocket, and a distraction when it’s not. 

One teacher polled said, “Students are sleeping in class because they have stayed up all night on their phones, have shorter attention spans because they scroll, increased lack of desire and motivation to do work because it doesn’t give them that dopamine hit, and an inability to focus on a task for more than 5 min (and this is 6th grade!)”

Even younger grades are experiencing problems with this. A second grade teacher said, “I believe that access to too much technology has greatly impacted their “need” to get immediate rewards/stimulation. They have a hard time with giving things their full attention unless it is online.”

Since this problem isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, we have to find ways to rein it in and help our students focus and control their need for screens. Much of the screen time addiction starts at home. Too often, some parents use screens as a “babysitter” for their kids. That’s not to say that all parents do this, because I know that’s not true; there are many parents who do limit screen time and are very good about setting boundaries with it. Since the problem usually starts at home, the solution should also start at home, then carry over into school. If students can learn to control their need for screens, they are going to be able to focus more, learn more, and truly experience life more. 

In the classroom, teachers can limit how much work is done on computers. I understand that having students complete and turn in assignments online makes it so much easier than having a ton of papers sitting around. But there has to be a balance somewhere between too much technology, and not enough. 

It’s a tricky balance, for sure, and what works for one teacher may not work for another. However a teacher chooses to manage access to technology in their own classrooms is up to them. I don’t think technology should be completely eliminated from classrooms. It really can be an incredibly useful tool in instruction and learning. Because we live in such a digital world, it’s also essential that students have some computer skills, as they won’t be able to avoid technology in the “real world.” 

I think as long as teachers are doing their best to combat the over-access to technology, students will figure out that they don’t really need their phones 24/7. Technology is definitely useful, but it’s not the only thing that can be used.

How Distractions Distract from Learning

In my last two posts, I discussed some common problems teachers are seeing in their classrooms. Based on a poll conducted, many teachers say that their students struggle with lack of motivation, distractions, and access to technology, among others. Today I’m going to jump into the problem of distractions.

Distractions have been around since the beginning of time. It’s not a new problem. I do, however, believe that it has become a bigger problem in recent years. Many students have so much going on in their lives that focusing on school is becoming more and more difficult. I also think that technology is playing a role in this increase in lack of attention and focus. Kids become so used to having instant gratification from their screens that focusing on anything for too long becomes difficult. 

There also seems to be a recent increase in the number of kids who struggle with ADD or ADHD. By themselves, these attention disorders make it difficult for students who struggle with them to stay focused and not get distracted. Couple these disorders with any other amount of input from screens or other sensory involved activities, and it seems like the perfect recipe for distractions a plenty! 

Not only does technology play a role in distracting students, but so does every day life. If there are hardships at home, trouble with friends, sports, other academic pursuits, challenges, or deadlines looming, medical concerns, or other extra curricular activities going on, those things can be a cause for distraction. There are a myriad of things that can be the reason behind why a student is distracted. 

A third grade teacher commented, “Many of my students have a hard time maintaining, focus and get distracted by a variety of activities, toys, other students, daydreaming etc.”

Lack of attention and focus can become a big problem for teachers. It’s hard enough to get an entire room of students on task and listening. Add in any outside distractions, and that task becomes even more difficult. Teachers have limited time with their students, and any amount of time spent redirecting and refocusing their students takes away from precious instruction and learning time. Obviously, all teachers plan for some amount of redirection and repeating of instructions, but when it starts to take away from what needs to be happening in a classroom, it becomes a bigger issue. 

One second grade teacher said, “I have noticed a HUGE increase in the amount of redirection I am having to give throughout my day. I truly think most of my time is spent on management and trying to get their attention where I need it. I think this stems from their inability to pay attention (distractions) mixed with a lack of motivation.” 

I won’t sugar coat it and say that you will have 100% of your class focused and on task 100% of the time, because the reality of it is, is that you won’t. There will likely be at least one or two students who will be distracted at any given moment (even if they look like they are paying attention). I think it’s just human nature to get distracted— for some, it doesn’t happen often, and for others, it’s a constant battle. 

What then, are teachers doing to help combat this problem in their classrooms? Redirection is a good strategy to help students get back on track. Some teachers use reward systems such as classroom dollars, table points, reward jars, and so on. 

A grade 7-9 teacher said she tries to make her lessons and assignments as relevant as possible so that students are more likely to stay focused and interested in what they are learning. 

A third grade teacher said, “In our school we’ve been doing mindfulness minutes during our day. We’ve also added in a yoga and mindfulness specialty. We have a wellness center where students can take breaks. In my classroom, I have a take 5 chair for smaller regulation needs.” These small breaks could be useful in helping students re-focus and stay attentive during class. 

Distractions aren’t going to go anywhere anytime soon. They really are just part of life. It’s how we learn to deal with them and re-focus ourselves that matters most. Teachers who experience this problem in their classrooms with their students know just how challenging it can be. But as we try new methods and lean on others for suggestions, we’re bound to find something that will help our students have the best possible chance of learning!

Lack of Motivation: A Common Struggle in Today’s Classrooms

In my last post, I introduced a poll I conducted, wherein I gathered information regarding common challenges students today are facing. As a reminder, eleven teachers were polled, and 100% of them indicated that lack of motivation was one of the top struggles they see their students face. 81% of them named both distractions and access to technology as other top problems. Teachers were asked to share how they see these problems present in their classrooms, and what they are doing to help their students combat the issues. 

Today, I’ll dive into the number one most common problem: lack of motivation. 

When I created the poll, I was expecting to have lack of motivation be a concern for secondary teachers. What I was surprised to learn, however, is that elementary teachers are experiencing the same problems with their students, too. 

One first grade teacher said, “There are so many students that don’t buy into learning, and they don’t care to learn what they are being taught. I find that this typically either comes because students struggle with a subject or because they are so good at it that they feel bored- even though there is usually still something they need to practice in the lessons.”

A second grade teacher described her experience: “I feel like a lot of students try to pick and choose what they want to care about. If it isn’t a fun activity, it is really hard to get them to participate and pay attention even if it is a necessary skill for them to learn and to be successful.”

Secondary students also struggle with being motivated. One teacher, who teaches grades 7, 8, and 9, remarked, “I see students that are coming to school to earn a grade, rather than coming to school to learn. Very few students see the purpose of learning to grow.”

What is causing this massive lack of motivation among students today? Perhaps many of these students are experiencing difficulties in other areas of their lives, and school has become something they dread rather than look forward to. Maybe students today are so used to getting instant gratification from their various devices that traditional methods of learning just aren’t as exciting for them anymore. Could it even be that students’ schedules are so full that school has become just one more thing on their “I don’t want to do this but have to do this” list? 

Lack of motivation could stem from any number of reasons. But one thing is for certain: motivation is something that students will need to use for the rest of their lives. They have to figure out what drives them and pushes them to learn and get things done… even if it’s doing something they don’t really want to do. I often tell my own children that, “sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, and that’s ok!”

As a teacher, having students who just aren’t motivated to learn and/or work can be very frustrating. You can’t force a student to learn, and external motivators and rewards will only get you so far. So what do you do, then, when a student loses their motivation? 

The teachers that were polled are doing great things to try and combat lack of motivation in their classrooms. One second grade teacher said, “I try to make my lessons as engaging as I can, but with all new curriculum that is very scripted, it is really hard! I try to talk to them in a more “adult” way and explain why they should care about a certain activity or how I am still using a certain skill in my life as an adult and how they would need it too. I have taken a class on gamification and I have also received my technology endorsement so I try to implement and utilize technology in a meaningful way that engages, but most importantly, helps teach and reinforce. I have a lot of different management tools I implement (class jars, class money, table points, secret students, etc.) to help them stay focused and on task.”

Another teacher, who teaches grades 10-12 shared, “I scaffold or model the tasks and encourage them to develop the skills to learn how to manage these issues for themselves.”

A sixth grade teacher explained, “With the… motivation issues, I push my kids hard and hold them to high expectations… If they choose to sit around at school and waste the time, the assignment doesn’t just disappear. I’m trying to help them see the satisfaction in finishing and doing a good job!”

These are all great ideas! While the ultimate solution has to come from within each student, teachers and other adults and help students see the value in a job well done. Teachers have an incredibly awesome opportunity to help students understand just how powerful their minds can be. Once a student makes up their mind to be motivated and can truly see the value of learning and trying, amazing things start to happen, and the whole world opens up!

Students and the Challenges They Face

It isn’t a secret that today’s students face many challenges. Many of these challenges are unique to this generation, while others are the same kinds of challenges that students have faced for years. Regardless the challenge, students need support and guidance on how to navigate these problems. I polled eleven teachers over a variety of grade levels to get an idea of what they are seeing in their classrooms, and how they are helping their students face these trying issues. Over the next few posts, I’m going to dive into the results of that poll and share what current teachers are doing in their classrooms to combat these challenges. 

First, a little background on the poll, questions asked, and the basic results.

In my poll, I gave teachers a list of challenges kids today might face, and asked them to check the box next to anything on that list that they see in their classrooms. That list included time management, family hardships, mental health, access to technology (too much or too little), financial strain, inadequate resources, test anxiety, distractions, lack of motivation, procrastination, lack of support at home or school, and inadequate physical care (food insecurity, lack of medical care, poor hygiene, etc.). Teachers were also given space to write any challenges they have seen that were not on my list. 

Then, from the boxes that they checked, I asked teachers to list the top three challenges they see in their classrooms, and explain what specifically they see happening. I then asked teachers to explain what is being done in general (by state, district, school, etc.) to combat these problems, and what they are specifically doing with their own students to alleviate these challenges. 

It was interesting to see the results of the poll. Problems I assumed would be more common turned out to not really even be a concern to most teachers, and problems I assumed wouldn’t be a big deal turned out to be bigger problems than I thought. I learned that certain issues aren’t confined to one particular age demographic, and that students of all grades and ages are experiencing many of the same challenges. 

So what did the teachers say? 

Of the teachers polled, an astounding 100% of them listed lack of motivation as one of the top challenges students today face! Coming in tied for second place, was 81% of teachers indicating that their students struggled with distractions and access to technology. 

Come along as I explore these results a little deeper and figure out what can be done to help today’s kids rise above and face these challenges!

Student Food Pantries and Wellness Rooms: A Beacon of Light

It’s no secret that it’s downright hard to be a kid or teen in today’s world. There are so many things pulling for their attention and time, and basic needs shouldn’t be something they need to worry about. But for many kids, obtaining basic necessities are a cause of worry. Families experiencing financial hardship, homelessness, or domestic abuse, among other things, often have a difficult time providing the most basic human needs— food, clothing, hygiene items, and laundry facilities. 

No one should have to go without these things. Thankfully, many schools across the nation have implemented in-school food pantries and wellness rooms— a place students can go, free of charge, no questions asked, to get the things they need. 

These pantries provide snacks and other foods that students can take home with them so they don’t have to go hungry. Many schools offer both non-perishable and perishable foods and ingredients to prepare basic meals. 

One high school in Utah went a step further than just providing food and set up a teen room, which they call The Hub. Students can make an appointment to visit The Hub and can get food, hygiene items (soap, shampoo, toothbrush/paste, feminine hygiene products, and deodorant), clothing (socks, underwear/bras, shirts, and pants), and household items (toilet paper, paper towels, washcloths, towels, and blankets). They even have a washer and dryer on site for students to do their laundry during school hours. 

In addition to providing for the physical needs of their students, this high school also has a wellness room where students can go if they need a break and need to calm down. It’s a quiet place for students to regroup, do homework, or relax. What an amazing resource for these students! In a time of life when there are so many uncertainties and stressors, this school has seen a need and has sought to alleviate some stress for its students in need. 

This school is not the only school that hosts a program like this; they are just one example of the good that is out there and the love and concern for today’s youth. Thankfully, rooms like this seem to be on the rise as more and more schools become increasingly aware of the number of students whose physical needs are not being met. We know that when physical needs are met, other needs thrive too.

These programs and rooms are largely operated via donations and generosity from the public. Some schools work in connection with local food pantries and coalitions. Whatever the source of the necessities, it is heartwarming to see individuals and businesses share their resources to care for the youth in their communities. 

To find out if there are schools in your area that have programs or resources to combat food insecurity, contact your local food bank or local schools. 

Trick-or-Treat: How One Utah School is Only Treats!

If you’ve been an elementary school teacher, you know the level of excitement at the school on Halloween is about ten levels higher than it normally is. The costumes, the promise of a class party at the end of the day, Halloween themed activities, and the knowledge that trick or treating is only a few hours away. Teachers can either lean into this form of chaos and embrace it, or dread it entirely. One school in Utah chooses to embrace it by going all out. I’m talking a school wide theme, with every staff member dressed in theme, and the halls decorated to the max. It’s not just Halloween there; it’s HALLOWEEN! But the best part of all of this? The theme is kept a secret until Halloween morning. The teachers work all year (literally… they start planning in January!) to come up with the ideas and plans for the big day. It is an epic surprise for students and parents alike, and it never disappoints! Past themes have included Coco, Star Wars, and Peter Pan. This year’s theme was Toy Story, and they included every single detail you could imagine, from an oversized working claw to broken and “repurposed” toys at Sid’s house to the cow cart at Al’s Toy Barn. It was incredible! 

I had the chance to walk through the school to admire the detail and excitement of it all, so I took a few pictures for you to enjoy! 

As you can see, the amount of work that went into this is astounding. In fact, the staff doesn’t even begin setting up until the night before, which means they usually end up working late into the night— usually until about midnight— to get everything ready to go. It’s a true labor of love. If you were to ask any of the staff why they do this every single year, every teacher or support staff would say that they do it for the kids. And let me tell you, every person who walks through those doors on Halloween can feel that love and excitement, and I am certain that it’s creating lasting memories for students, teachers, and parents alike.