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Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Part 3

Who’s ready for the last batch of classroom funnies? I saved the best for last, and boy are they good! 

“I’m a long term sub as a preschool aid. I have one student who is constantly telling me to go to jail – “go to jail Ms. Debbie – go to jail ” or to just go away.”

“I’m a math aide, and I had a 1st grade student add 3+1 by saying “If I have 1 girlfriend and 3 more girlfriends show up.” 

“I was a behavior assistant and had a 2nd grader come up to me very upset at recess because this other kid told her, “You need to be like Ice Cream and chill out.” It was very hard to not laugh at that one because she was very upset by it.”

2nd grade: “A boy turned in a note (clearly written by him) that said, “he couldent finish his homewerk he was at sckouts.” … then when caught, followed up with an apology note saying, “Im sorry for riting a note becaus I wasnt don with my homework. And that I said my dad whate it.”

“My coworker who is in charge of after school made the comment, “I’m so tired of children, problem is my career deals with children.””(I’m pretty sure most teachers feel this way at some point!)

“I had an 8th grader who was born with some congenital defects that eventually led to his lower leg being amputated. He had a prosthetic, and was not at all ashamed of it. He would often take it off during class and put it back on backwards just to make people do a double take. I know it certainly took me by surprise the first time he did it to me!”

“I had a student tell the teacher that she had huffed a whole can of Febreeze and now she is tripping balls.” (Fifth grade)

“We had a 4 year old little girl in our class get really mad at another kid and said the following (and really enunciated every single sound)…..”shut up you freaking b*****d.”

From an 8th grade health teacher: “When trying to understand how a woman gets pregnant if they only need one sperm and egg, a boy asks, “Wait, so what happens to all the other sperm if it only takes one?” I answered that they die and are attacked by the female immune system as they’re seen as foreign invaders in the body. Another boy loudly says, “So, basically it’s like Gandalf saying, ‘You shall not pass!’” (Yes, he said it in the Gandalf voice). Another girl more quietly mumbled and replied with, “Or it’s the females cleaning up men’s messes again. Even our bodies have to fix their mistakes.”

“I’m a SPED teacher. I have a good story at least weekly, lol. I have a little guy with autism who just has the best imagination ever. He is often a robot and we have to wind him up for him to do his work (he really hates any work that involves writing). He once told us the real him stayed home to play video games, he had sent a clone instead.”

“I have a very opinionated kindergartner that loves to tattle-tale. He’ll stop me in the hallway to tell me (while pointing an accusatory finger) “him said…him said…(to the boy) What did you say?”

From an elementary SPED teacher: The next one is gross but had me dying. One of our kids is newly potty trained…mostly. He was in line walking by the front office with his class when he shakes a turd out of his pants leg!! The kid behind him goes “What is that?” and picks it up. He figured it out real quick and threw it across the foyer, where it went skidding down the tile. This was all right in front of the principal! We asked him why he didn’t tell us he needed to go to the bathroom. He said a spider put it there.”

And there you have it! Teaching may be a lot of things, but one thing it isn’t is boring. What’s the funniest thing you’ve had a student say or do?

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How to Stop Spring Break from Breaking You!

It’s Spring Break season! If your kids are anything like mine, the sudden lack of structure has them going a little bit wacky. On top of being out of our normal routine, our Spring Break has felt more like Winter Break, especially with the 2” of snow currently on our lawn. 

Since outdoor activities are a bit limited at the moment, we’ve had to come up with our own fun! I thought I’d share some ideas of things to do in case your Spring Break isn’t going how you had planned. The best part of these activities is that they involve learning or practicing skills in some way, but most of the time your child won’t even notice it’s a learning activity! Win-win!

  • Coloring pages- the internet is full of free printable coloring pages for any interest, age, or skill level. Or, you can click here and download the freebie I posted last week!
  • Easter Egg Match- cut out several plain white egg shapes and decorate them however you’d like. Then, cut them in half using different kinds of cut lines (zig-zag, wavy, scalloped, etc.). Spread them out and have your child match up the halves. 
  • Alphabet Match- On a large piece of paper (even the back side of wrapping paper will work!), write all the letters of the alphabet (choose either lower case or upper case). Next, on 26 different small pieces of paper or sticky notes, write the letters in the case opposite of what you wrote on the large paper. Put each paper inside a plastic Easter egg. Hide the eggs around the house, and as your child finds them, have them open it up, find, and tape the correct letter match on the large paper. Other options for this activity would be to match numbers, shapes, colors, or pictures. It is easily adapted for any age.
  • If weather permits, take a walk around the neighborhood. Before you go, create a simple list of things to find while you are on your walk. Take your list with you and do an outdoor scavenger hunt while you walk. Mark off the items on your list as you find them. 
  • Do some themed days! Have all activities and snacks tie to your theme. Learn about your theme, if applicable. Possible themes might include Disney, insects, colors, letters, or a specific place.
  • Make and deliver a treat and card to someone in your neighborhood who might be lonely or need some cheering up.
  • Create a spring time mosaic— draw a simple spring-themed shape (Easter egg, bunny, flower, etc.) on a plain white piece of paper. Cut up pieces of varying colors of construction paper into small squares. Have your child glue them onto the traced shape, covering the whole space. Cut out the shape and enjoy your child’s masterpiece! 
  • Think of different simple objects that can be built from Legos or other building blocks. Write them on small cards. Have a building competition where you pick one of the cards and everyone has to build whatever is on the card. Have fun seeing the different things your kids (and yourself) come up with! 

Hopefully your Spring Break is less winter-y than ours has been, and hopefully you’re able to find at least a few minutes each day to slow down with your kids and have fun. Use one or more of these ideas to inspire some fun, creative play and watch the magic happen! 

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Final Scholarship Reminder!

It’s time for your final scholarship application reminder/tip! Can you believe that applications are due in just SIX days?! It’s so exciting! I’ve really enjoyed reading through the applications that have been submitted so far– there are some really neat projects in the works!

Remember that all applications must be submitted no later than Monday, April 7, 2025 at 11:59 pm MST.

Before you push that “submit” button, please double check a few things:

  • Proofread your application– read over and correct any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors you may find.
  • Double (or triple) check that all email addresses, phone numbers, and names are correctly entered on your application. If we can’t contact you, your mentor, high school, or planned college, we won’t be able to proceed in the event that your project is chosen as a finalist.
  • Please make sure your pictures are uploaded in a publish-able format. For the photo requirement, we cannot accept photos that are submitted in a Google slide show or a video. You can definitely add photos to your required video, but we also need them uploaded separately. If you choose to share them with us via Google Drive, please make sure you have checked the share settings. It seems obvious, but I can’t view your photos if I don’t have access to the file.
  • Don’t skip over the video requirement! If you don’t submit a video that meets the requirements we have posted here, we will not be able to consider your application. Again, please check the link or share settings to make sure they work.

Should you have any questions, you can contact us via email at scholarship@honorsgraduation.com.

Lastly, take a minute and breathe! You are doing amazing things!

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Weekly Scholarship Reminder

Here is your weekly scholarship reminder/tip!

All applications for this year’s Build A Better Scholarship are due on or before Monday, April 7, 2025 at 11:59 pm MST. That’s just 12 days away!

Before submitting, please make sure to double or triple check that your contact information for yourself, mentor, and high school is correct. On your application, you need to include:

  • Your email and phone number
  • Your mentor’s email and phone number (this must be someone who is directly involved in your project)
  • Your high school name, phone number, and city
  • Name, email, and phone number for the registrar or secretary from your high school
  • Name of the college, trade school, or university you will be attending in the fall

You can find other weekly reminders here and here.

If you have any other questions, you can check out our scholarship page here, or can send us an email at scholarship@honorsgraduation.com.

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Spring Coloring Pages- Free Printable

It’s finally feeling like Spring where I live– is it where you are? The warmer temperatures are a welcome thing after a cold winter! To celebrate Spring finally coming, I designed a couple of free printables for you to use in your classroom! Below you will find a downloadable coloring page as well as a page of bookmarks that can be printed and colored.

Enjoy these pages, but please only use them for personal or classroom use. They are not to be resold or shared as your own. Thank you!

Spring Coloring Page-2Download
Spring BookmarksDownload
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Kids Say the Darnedest Things, Part 2

Monday seemed like a good day to share part 2 of the funny things kids have done and said. Let’s jump right into it!

From a kindergarten teacher: “I was reading a book to students, in one of the pages a kid forgot to put his pants on and went to school in boxers.. all of the sudden a girl student starts laughing and says: just like my dad, he forgets to put his pants on everyday we have breakfast  she says- he’s always in his “calzoncillos” which is funnier when you say it in Spanish. (Her dad always came to pick her up after school, I just smiled at him that day)”

“I was kneeling down with a student when another student came behind me and whispered “Anaconda squeeze” before giving me a hug.” (1st grade)

From a fourth grade teacher: “I had a herd of students looking for the back of my earring… turns out it was in my hair.” (Even the teachers do/say funny things sometimes!)

“I had a student tell me the system was rigged. He wanted to come to school and hang out, not to learn!” (4th grade)

“I assigned the students to write a paper on something each felt they needed to improve. One student said that she’d always struggled with “low shelf of steam”.” (8th grade)

“I had a 4th grader who detested the novel we were reading– James and the Giant Peach. She refused to do the writing assignment because “James was an abomination and should be cast down to hell!” I let her, instead, write about all of the things wrong with the book as a VERY strong opinion piece!”

“I am a teacher and I had a student tell me they didn’t have time to do homework because their mom makes them clean too much.”

“I had a student in 7th grade come into my room with his mother for a parent-teacher conference. I smiled and greeted them. He turned to his mom and said, “I told you she always smiles at everybody. You should try to be like that!””

“A former sophomore who had been forced to pass tenth grade and endlessly exorted that he’d care one day that his dad had made him complete tenth grade came to visit. He said, ” you know how you would always tell me that one day I’d care?” I got a bit excited. “Yeah, well, I still don’t.”

He followed up with “but I can see that someday, I might.””

“I was saying a base word fury but instead of saying that I pronounced it as furry. Until I added the suffix. It was furious. I realized my mistake and tried yo play it off until my 3rd graders called me out. It was one of those days.”

Stay tuned for part 3— I’ve saved the best for last!

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What to do When Your Kid Won’t go to School

I have a kid who really struggles some mornings with wanting to go to school. Once he is there, he’s happy, helpful, and eager to learn. He has friends, gets along with everyone, and loves his teacher. It’s just the getting him there that is hard. I mean, I get it. Staying home and relaxing is pretty inviting— especially on these cold mornings! This particular child has struggled with this since preschool. I love that he wants to be home and wants to be around me, but I also know the importance of school. There is so much he gets from school that he wouldn’t get at home hanging out while mom works and does laundry. 

Last week I had to run something over to my preschooler at the school. I mentioned to the preschool teacher that I was frustrated with my second grader for refusing to come to school that day. She knew exactly what I was talking about— he was in her class when he was a preschooler, and she remembered many mornings when he fought going to her class. Without hesitation, she sprung into action. She asked who is current teacher is, and told me she would get in touch with her and make a plan. 

Today, I got an email describing a plan they had created that would hopefully help encourage my son to more willingly go to school. For every day that he goes to school without a fight, he gets to check off a box on a chart. Once he has filled in five boxes, he will get to spend 20 minutes in the preschool class helping the teacher and students. It’s brilliant! He is totally pumped about this plan, and is especially excited that he will get to go help in the preschool when his younger brother is there. It’s a win-win all around!

Now, I know this story is about my child, but I also know that I’m not the only parent who has a kid who struggles to want to go to school. I know my son’s teacher isn’t the only teacher who is trying to help their student feel loved and supported at school. I also know that coming up with a solution or a plan can feel overwhelming. Sometimes you don’t know where to start. 

So what do you do with a student or child who just doesn’t want to go to school? Below are a few ideas and steps to take if you find yourself in this situation!

  • First, find out why there is hesitation to go to school— are they being bullied? Are they scared or worried? Do they not understand what they’re being taught? Do they just really like to be at home? Are their favorite pants dirty and they don’t know what to wear? Did they forget to do their homework and are afraid of getting in trouble?
  • Once you identify the why, determine if the teacher needs to be involved. Obviously if there is bullying or curriculum concerns happening, contacting the teacher is crucial. 
  • Figure out what will motivate your child/student.
    • Create a sticker chart and work toward a reward.
    • Give the child a role or purpose at school that they need to be present for. 
    • Allow your child to take a “brave buddy” with them in their backpack— a small stuffy or object that will help them feel brave. 
    • Purchase or create some kind of matching bracelet or necklace— one for them to wear and one for you to wear so they can feel connected to you while they are away.
    • If you’re comfortable with it, draw a small heart or smiley face on one hand, and one on your child’s hand. Remind them that if they feel sad or miss you while they’re at school, they can look at or touch the little drawing and remember that you love them. 
  • Offer positive reinforcement and feedback! Praise your child for being brave and doing something that is hard for them. Make sure they know you are proud of them, and help them to feel proud of themselves.
  • Always listen to your intuition. Parents know their children best, and generally can tell if something is amiss. 

Having a child who fights going to school can be hard. It can be frustrating. I get it. But it is worth the fight to get them to school. Education is so important, and the earlier kids can understand that importance, the better!