Letting Kids Fail

My third grader is given a weekly homework sheet, with one side math practice and the other reading practice. Sometimes the reading assignment is to read a passage and answer some comprehension questions, and sometimes it involves reading as much of a passage as possible in one minute, on four separate occasions, while having an adult follow along and count any errors made. The teacher sends the paper home on Monday, and it is due on Friday. With four days given to finish the assignment, you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem to complete it. 

By Thursday night, after my husband and I have both asked (and offered to sit down with him while he does it) our son what feels like 182 times to get his worksheet done, we are tired of asking and have started to feel like we are nagging him. One week last month, he dragged his feet, as usual, and was in a panic on Thursday night when he still hadn’t finished his assignment. Of course it was a week where he had to read a passage four different times, and we were running out of time. Around 10:00 pm, we finally just told him to go to bed and we could try again in the morning. 

Morning came, and he still had zero interest in finishing his work. Out of time and energy, I told him to put his paper in his backpack and just turn in what he did have done. We talked about who was responsible for the assignment being incomplete, and what he needed to do about it. He admitted it was on him, and that he should have done it when we first asked him to. I sent him out the door and hoped for the best.

The protective mom in me wanted to keep him home until he finished it so that he wouldn’t lose points on the assignment. How could I let my own child fail? He’s only nine, after all. As I battled internally for a few minutes, a little voice inside reminded me that failing is part of life. We all have to learn by failing at some point in our lives. Is it a hard lesson to learn? Absolutely. Is it a necessary lesson to learn? 100%. 

As a mom and former teacher, I know how hard it is hard to watch the kids you love fall short. It’s hard to watch them struggle. When our kids are younger, we are there to swoop in and fix things for them. We keep them in a little bubble of sorts to keep them safe and protected. But as they get older, we can’t continue to solve all their problems and keep them in a bubble. As parents (and teachers), it is our job to set up our children for success in life, and one of those crucial lessons to teach is that failure is inevitable, and that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. We must give them the tools they will need for when they do fail so that they can appropriately adjust and find ways to regroup, rethink, and try again. 

So while I wanted desperately to save my son from not getting full points on his homework assignment, I also wanted desperately to teach my son that our actions and choices very often determine our success, and that failure is part of life. I wanted him to know that it’s not the end of the world to mess up on one assignment, and that he could try again next week, learning from his previous experience. I wanted him to know that how we handle failure is important and how we choose to do better the next time is what matters the most. 

As parents and teachers, we’re faced with some pretty tough internal battles. We naturally want to protect the kids we love, but also need to remember that sometimes too much protection and sheltering ultimately doesn’t help, but hinders. We must find a balance between the two and hope we are giving our children and students what they’ll need to succeed in school and in life.

Children’s Valentine’s Day Books

Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s been so fun sharing Valentine’s themed activities for you to do with your students or children. Before the day ends, I wanted to share a few Valentine’s Day themed books that I thought were fun for kids of all ages!

Love Monster by Rachel Bright

This darling book follows a cute monster who feels like he doesn’t fit in where he lives. Everyone around him is cute and fluffy, and everyone seems to like cute and fluffy things, NOT hairy google-eyed monsters. He sets out on a quest to find someone who is just like him, but doesn’t have any luck. After searching high and low and everywhere in between, he finally decides to go back home, and is pleasantly surprised to find another monster just like him when he arrives!

Love From the Crayons written by Drew Daywalt, illustrated by Oliver Jeffers

Another book from the Crayons series, this book talks about the different colors love can be. Sometimes love is pink because it is silly. Sometimes it is blue because it feels stormy. Other times, love is white because it’s hard to see. This sweet book teaches that love isn’t always perfect and it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Love can be many things!

I’ll Love You Till the Cows Come Home written by Kathryn Cristaldi, illustrated by Kristina Litten

This book gives a sweet reminder of just how long a grown up will love their child. It goes through several animals, describing fun adventures they might go on, and how the adult will love the child until all those adventures have ended. The illustrations are cute and fun and will catch your attention. The story itself is a perfect book to read at bedtime or any other time a child needs a reminder of how much they are loved.

Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatchwritten by Eileen Spinelli, illustrated by Paul Yalowitz

Mr. Hatch is a single man, living a very ordinary, very lonely, very predictable life until he receives a package one day. Inside the package, he finds a large heart shaped box filled with chocolates. Along with the package is a note that says, “Somebody loves you.” Mr. Hatch’s view on life completely changes. He starts to smile and laugh. He interacts with his neighbors and coworkers. He willingly helps people around him. People are astounded by this new person Mr. Hatch seems to be. They love it! One day a while later, the postman comes back to Mr. Hatch’s home to admit that he accidentally delivered the heart package to the wrong address. Mr. Hatch is saddened by this news, and returns to his old ways. The townspeople are confused and wonder what happened to Mr. Hatch. The postman explains the mix-up with the package and comes up with an idea to help Mr. Hatch feel loved again. Together, the town surprises Mr. Hatch with an unforgettable celebration and reminder that he really is loved.

Because Narwhals Can’t Kiss written by Catharine Day, illustrated by Lucy Pirogova

This heartwarming, adorable story teaches the different ways that love can be shown. Narwhals can’t kiss because of their tusks, so they find other ways to show their love for others– sharing, helping, playing together, hugging, and saying kind words. Children learn that love isn’t just hugs and kisses, and that love can be shown in so many ways.

What are your favorite Valentine’s Day books? Happy reading!

Valentine Bookmark Printable

If you’re looking for a fun last minute, super simple activity to do with your students, I’ve got you covered! All you need is a printer, paper, scissors, and something to color with! Click on the link below to download and print off four Valentine bookmarks. Leave them black and white, or color them in!

*Please do not sell or distribute this file. It is intended for only personal or classroom use.*

The Benefits of Peer Tutoring Programs

Luke was a student of mine many years ago. I still remember his tussled blonde hair, glasses, and sweet disposition. Third period that year was a better place because of him. Luke didn’t get to go to eight different classes like most of his peers; in fact, he only got to attend three or so. Luke was a student in our school’s moderate to severe Life Skills Special Education class. He had a disability that made it harder for him to learn and perform at the same level as his same aged peers. But did this stop Luke from trying his best? Absolutely not! Did this disability stop his peers from including him and helping him? It sure didn’t! I watched countless kids defy the “norm” of teenage behavior and go out of their way to help Luke and other kids like him. It was beautiful to watch. 

One student in particular, Lily, was assigned to be his “buddy” for his time in my class. Our school had a peer tutor program, which allowed mainstream ed students to voluntarily use one of their elective credits for a term to accompany a special needs student to a class and help them during that period. Peer tutors would sit next to these students and help them stay on task, help make sure they had the papers and supplies that they needed, and help them in any other way that was needed. 

The peer tutor program benefited everyone involved. For the special needs student, it gave them a friend to rely on during the class and gave them a sense of belonging. Putting SPED students in the least restrictive environment is essential for development and progress. Peer tutors benefited as well, as it gave them a sense of purpose and pride. They were given the opportunity to work one on one with the most special kids in the school. It also gave them a chance to serve fellow students. The Life Skills teachers were able to breathe easier knowing that their students were in good hands when they got to go to mainstream classes. The mainstream teachers got the chance to witness a special relationship form, and also got the privilege of having such special kids in the classroom. Logistically, having a peer tutor in the room allowed the teacher to be able to continue teaching without having to stop as often since the peer tutor could assist their buddy. The other students in the class also benefited from the program because they got to see the example set by their peers who had given up time to help others. 

I don’t know of a single student who has participated in a peer tutor type program who hasn’t come out a better person. It really is such a unique and beneficial opportunity. I realize it isn’t for everyone, but for those interested, it can be a great chance to help others and make a difference for students who otherwise often get overlooked. 

I know there are programs like this in secondary schools across the nation. If you aren’t familiar with your school’s program, ask a counselor or the Special Education teachers at your school; I’m sure they’d love to educate you on the ways that mainstream students can help their peers.

Challenging the Gifted Learner

When I was growing up and in school, I was under the assumption that kids who were in the gifted or accelerated programs were always the ideal student with no behavior issues, super organized, and very on top of everything. Boy was I wrong! Sure, there are gifted students who are well behaved, and on top of things, but they aren’t all like that. Just as in any other classroom, students in a gifted program are diverse in their skills and abilities. Gifted doesn’t mean perfect student.

When I was taking courses to get my gifted endorsement, and especially when I was eventually teaching gifted classes, I learned that gifted kids are just like any other kids, and that their brains usually just process information in a unique way. Just as I would make accommodations for my students who had 504 plans or IEPs, I often found myself making accommodations for my students who learned at an accelerated rate. While making changes to assignments and instruction for one or two students can be challenging, it’s always worth it. Students who want to be challenged and who excel when pushed should have the opportunity to do so. 

So how, then, do you challenge a gifted student? It’s really pretty easy when you have a class full of gifted learners; your entire curriculum is designed to teach accelerated students. However, when you’re changing things to accommodate one or two students, it requires a little more effort. It’s important to remember that accommodating accelerated learners doesn’t mean more work for the student; it means different work and higher level thinking skills. Below are a few ways you can challenge your gifted students while still teaching the same concepts to the entire class. 

  • When teaching new vocabulary to students, have faster learners re-write definitions in their own words.
  • Offer tiered assignments with varying levels of difficulty. This allows students to choose what level of complexity they want to tackle while still having all students show their knowledge on a particular subject.
  • When doing a group project, have accelerated learners work together. They will often challenge each other to think further.
  • Eliminate “entry level” questions or assignments— kids who are gifted often see these kinds of tasks as a waste of time and see no challenge in them.
  • Offer project based learning, allowing students to showcase their talents, skills, knowledge, and interests. 
  • Offer opportunities for gifted students to teach students who are struggling.
  • If assigning essay type questions, assign gifted students questions that require a higher level of thinking.
  • Instead of having students only answer the “how” of something, have them answer the “why” of it as well. 
  • Offer after school clubs or programs that target unique interests.
  • Ask them how they want to be challenged! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting the student’s input and feedback on how they learn best and how they want to be challenged. The answers might surprise you!

Accelerated students are such a fun group of kids. They offer unique insight and views on life, and bring so much to a classroom. How do you challenge your gifted students?

Valentine’s I Spy Printables

In continuing with some fun Valentine’s Day themed ideas for the classroom (or home!), I’ve created two different I Spy printables, one in color, and the other in black and white, so you can print whichever version works for you!

Put kids in to teams to find the pictures, have them work independently, or make it a whole class activity. Count each different picture, then add up the numbers to see how many total pictures are on the page. The options are plentiful, and the fun is endless!

Happy Spying!

*Please only use these printables for classroom or home use. Do not sell these files.*

Valentine’s Day Fun: Preschool Edition

A few days ago, a photo memory popped up on my phone from a few years ago of my older kids doing a Valentine’s themed activity. I remembered it being a lot of fun for them, and remembered it being super easy to set up. I tucked the memory back into my mind, thinking that if I had time in the next few weeks, I’d set it up for my preschool aged kids. Well, as luck would have it, neither of those kids have school on Mondays, and we were all going a little stir crazy yesterday, so off to the craft store we went, returning with a pack of pipe cleaners. A few minutes later, my kids were happily playing!

The concept is simple: form several pipe cleaners into hearts and toss them in a pile on the floor. Give your kids some different objects that they can use to pick the hearts up— things like straws, plastic forks, tongs, chop sticks, popsicle sticks, clothes pins, etc.— and watch them go! Having them simply pick up the hearts is the most basic task with this activity. There are also many other variations, such as:

  • Assign a color and have them work on only picking up that color. Provide papers that match the colors of the hearts and have them sort the hearts onto the pieces of paper. This is great for color recognition and matching.
  • Have them transfer the hearts from one place to another. This helps with hand-eye coordination.
  • After they pick up each heart, have them create a pattern. Early math skills are in play here as they figure out a pattern to make.
  • See how many hearts they can fit onto their pick up tool, without any falling off. They can count their hearts once their tool is full.
  • Have them stack their hearts as they collect them, seeing how tall their stack can get before falling over.

As I watched my kids play with this super simple activity, I got thinking about some other activities I have done in the past when my older kids were preschool age. Most of these activities can be set up with little effort, and require materials that you may have around the house (or can buy for very cheap at the dollar or craft store). 

Pipe Cleaner Beading

Give your child a pipe cleaner and a handful of pony beads. Have them put the beads onto the pipe cleaner. This encourages fine motor hand-eye coordination. They can also create patterns, count their beads, and name colors as they go. 

Paper Heart Sort

Using whatever paper you have on hand, cut out hearts of varying sizes and colors. Have your child sort them from largest to smallest, smallest to largest, or by color if you have more than one color of paper. Again, kids can count hearts, make patterns, and recognize colors as they work through this activity.

Valentine Necklace

Cut a heart out of craft foam or felt and attach a piece of yarn, ribbon, or string of some kind. Give your child a bunch of pony beads and have them make a necklace. As with other activities, this one also allows for kids to work on small motor hand-eye coordination, counting, patterning, counting, and color recognition. 

Another great thing about these activities is that they are practically mess free! There’s no cutting, gluing, or coloring. Sure, the beads could spill, but that’s about the biggest mess that could come from all of these activities! Pro-tip, though— if you do the bead activities, have your child sit on the floor. That way, if the beads do spill or drop, they aren’t going to bounce all over your kitchen floor.

Not only are these not very messy, they are also great activities for promoting several learning skills and coordination skills. And, as a bonus, mom or dad might get a little break for a minute while the kids play and learn! 

Let us know in the comments if you use any of these with your kids or class!