Tag: laughter

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Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Part 3

Who’s ready for the last batch of classroom funnies? I saved the best for last, and boy are they good! 

“I’m a long term sub as a preschool aid. I have one student who is constantly telling me to go to jail – “go to jail Ms. Debbie – go to jail ” or to just go away.”

“I’m a math aide, and I had a 1st grade student add 3+1 by saying “If I have 1 girlfriend and 3 more girlfriends show up.” 

“I was a behavior assistant and had a 2nd grader come up to me very upset at recess because this other kid told her, “You need to be like Ice Cream and chill out.” It was very hard to not laugh at that one because she was very upset by it.”

2nd grade: “A boy turned in a note (clearly written by him) that said, “he couldent finish his homewerk he was at sckouts.” … then when caught, followed up with an apology note saying, “Im sorry for riting a note becaus I wasnt don with my homework. And that I said my dad whate it.”

“My coworker who is in charge of after school made the comment, “I’m so tired of children, problem is my career deals with children.””(I’m pretty sure most teachers feel this way at some point!)

“I had an 8th grader who was born with some congenital defects that eventually led to his lower leg being amputated. He had a prosthetic, and was not at all ashamed of it. He would often take it off during class and put it back on backwards just to make people do a double take. I know it certainly took me by surprise the first time he did it to me!”

“I had a student tell the teacher that she had huffed a whole can of Febreeze and now she is tripping balls.” (Fifth grade)

“We had a 4 year old little girl in our class get really mad at another kid and said the following (and really enunciated every single sound)…..”shut up you freaking b*****d.”

From an 8th grade health teacher: “When trying to understand how a woman gets pregnant if they only need one sperm and egg, a boy asks, “Wait, so what happens to all the other sperm if it only takes one?” I answered that they die and are attacked by the female immune system as they’re seen as foreign invaders in the body. Another boy loudly says, “So, basically it’s like Gandalf saying, ‘You shall not pass!’” (Yes, he said it in the Gandalf voice). Another girl more quietly mumbled and replied with, “Or it’s the females cleaning up men’s messes again. Even our bodies have to fix their mistakes.”

“I’m a SPED teacher. I have a good story at least weekly, lol. I have a little guy with autism who just has the best imagination ever. He is often a robot and we have to wind him up for him to do his work (he really hates any work that involves writing). He once told us the real him stayed home to play video games, he had sent a clone instead.”

“I have a very opinionated kindergartner that loves to tattle-tale. He’ll stop me in the hallway to tell me (while pointing an accusatory finger) “him said…him said…(to the boy) What did you say?”

From an elementary SPED teacher: The next one is gross but had me dying. One of our kids is newly potty trained…mostly. He was in line walking by the front office with his class when he shakes a turd out of his pants leg!! The kid behind him goes “What is that?” and picks it up. He figured it out real quick and threw it across the foyer, where it went skidding down the tile. This was all right in front of the principal! We asked him why he didn’t tell us he needed to go to the bathroom. He said a spider put it there.”

And there you have it! Teaching may be a lot of things, but one thing it isn’t is boring. What’s the funniest thing you’ve had a student say or do?

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Kids Say the Darnedest Things, Part 2

Monday seemed like a good day to share part 2 of the funny things kids have done and said. Let’s jump right into it!

From a kindergarten teacher: “I was reading a book to students, in one of the pages a kid forgot to put his pants on and went to school in boxers.. all of the sudden a girl student starts laughing and says: just like my dad, he forgets to put his pants on everyday we have breakfast  she says- he’s always in his “calzoncillos” which is funnier when you say it in Spanish. (Her dad always came to pick her up after school, I just smiled at him that day)”

“I was kneeling down with a student when another student came behind me and whispered “Anaconda squeeze” before giving me a hug.” (1st grade)

From a fourth grade teacher: “I had a herd of students looking for the back of my earring… turns out it was in my hair.” (Even the teachers do/say funny things sometimes!)

“I had a student tell me the system was rigged. He wanted to come to school and hang out, not to learn!” (4th grade)

“I assigned the students to write a paper on something each felt they needed to improve. One student said that she’d always struggled with “low shelf of steam”.” (8th grade)

“I had a 4th grader who detested the novel we were reading– James and the Giant Peach. She refused to do the writing assignment because “James was an abomination and should be cast down to hell!” I let her, instead, write about all of the things wrong with the book as a VERY strong opinion piece!”

“I am a teacher and I had a student tell me they didn’t have time to do homework because their mom makes them clean too much.”

“I had a student in 7th grade come into my room with his mother for a parent-teacher conference. I smiled and greeted them. He turned to his mom and said, “I told you she always smiles at everybody. You should try to be like that!””

“A former sophomore who had been forced to pass tenth grade and endlessly exorted that he’d care one day that his dad had made him complete tenth grade came to visit. He said, ” you know how you would always tell me that one day I’d care?” I got a bit excited. “Yeah, well, I still don’t.”

He followed up with “but I can see that someday, I might.””

“I was saying a base word fury but instead of saying that I pronounced it as furry. Until I added the suffix. It was furious. I realized my mistake and tried yo play it off until my 3rd graders called me out. It was one of those days.”

Stay tuned for part 3— I’ve saved the best for last!

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Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Part 1

If you’ve worked around or with kids of any age for any length of time, you know how funny they can be. I’m sure most teachers could write a book containing all the funny things they have seen or heard in their classrooms. It’s just part of the job— and honestly, probably one of the best parts of it! I mean, who doesn’t need a little laughter every now and then?

Knowing that I wasn’t the only teacher who had a whole slew of funnies from students, I asked several fellow educators and other school employees for their funniest kid-isms, and their responses did not disappoint! They are too good to keep to myself, so sit back and enjoy as I share the funny things students have said and done! It’ll take a few posts to get through all of them, but that will just spread out the happiness!

“I had a fourth grader who looked me dead in the eyes and try to tell me in November after we’ve done 3 months of science work, that she didn’t know how to use a pencil and couldn’t do our assignment. She changed her tune when I asked very seriously if she needed to visit the no-nonsense kindergarten teacher for help.”

“I was teaching 8th grade, and my classes knew I was very seriously dating someone, and became very invested in trying to get all the details (which I definitely did not share!). One day at the end of class, I was wrapping things up when a student raised his hand. When I called on him, he told me he found something he needed to turn in to lost and found— a small round black lidded container of some kind. Once he got up to where I was, he said, “Miss, I have a question for you.” He then got down on to one knee, held up the little box, opened it and said, “I have no idea what this is. But will you take it for me?” Immediate laughter erupted from the entire room (and from me!) as everyone realized they had just witnessed a fake proposal. I told him I would take the box, but that I was already spoken for. Oh— and the box he ‘proposed’ with? It was a little thing of violin rosin.”

“I teach preschool and these are some things they’ve said that made me laugh enough I took note of them in my phone:
“Walmart is one of the most important things”
“Birds are really nice, they just tweet everywhere.”
“When I was at my grandmas I ate an apple, almost all of it!!”
“Earth is my favorite, EVEN there is a park.””

“My first year teaching, I had a girl come in for SEPs WITH her dad, then said, “My dad has a crush on you!!” while he was there.” (1st gr.)

“Reading a book called A Monster Calls and there’s a two page pic of the main character’s feet (stepping on a bed of yew tree leaves…part of the story). Student didn’t skip a beat and said, “Sweet, I didn’t even have to pay for those!”
I laughed so hard it took a full minute to compose myself (9th)”

“A 5th grader asked me in the middle of January if we could turn the A/C on because he was sweating. He was wearing two thick coats because he had left one at school and needed to bring them both home. He didn’t want to take them off because they were too hard to put back on again.”

“I had a 2nd grader tell me that she was “really worried about tomorrow.” I said, “What’s tomorrow?” She said, “Wednesday.””

“I feel bad finding so many things funny (I’m not laughing AT them, I’m laughing WITH them, right?) but I do! One that came immediately to mind is a sophomore telling me she couldn’t type her outline like I showed them, because her keyboard doesn’t have Roman numerals on it.” (High School)

Teaching is a job with many challenges, but thank goodness we can always count on our students to make the job fun, memorable, and entertaining. Stay tuned for part 2 of classroom funnies!

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A Place For Jokes in the Classroom

When I was in sixth grade I had a teacher who would take the time every single day to read the Joke of the Day in the newspaper. Every day, without fail. 

We all looked forward to hearing the joke of the day and sometimes we would have a fun discussion about the joke, too. 

It was the very first thing we did in his classroom each day and it set the tone for the remainder of the school day. 

Laughing and joking immediately puts your mind at ease, it tells your body, “I am safe here, this place is okay.” This is why some people like to joke around when they are in dangerous or stressful situations, they are trying to trick their bodies into thinking they are safe and okay. 

School can feel stressful and scary for many students, but starting the school year, and even just your day, in a setting where joking and laughing and great discussions are held tells the mind, “This is somewhere we like to be. This is safe.”

If you’re not already doing something similar to Joke of the Day or adding humor into your classrooms or schools, I would strongly suggest finding a way to implement it. 

It’s a simple, easy way to tell your students that they are welcome, safe, needed, and happy in their environment. 

Do you do a joke of the day in your classroom? 

Photo by Katerina Holmes: https://www.pexels.com/photo/cheerful-black-teacher-with-diverse-schoolkids-5905918/